I can play his fool. He wants me as a puppet
But I’d rather challenge him.
Make him think. Make him chase me.
He thinks he knows me.
Makes assumptions like I am anything
He could ever predicted. All too perfect.
So it scares him but he ain’t trying to show me
That he could really like me.
He’s rather guarded and better at hiding his feelings.
Wants me to make all the effort
But I get offended when he leaves me on read.
Ghosted. Just clowning.
Yet I wish it was real. That I could touch him.
Fall asleep to my favorite lullaby. His heart beat.
Because that time was the only time I felt right where I was supposed to be.
We keep playing this game like we playing pretend only to find; just clowning.
Just trying to convenience in all dialogue that it was just a crush.
So why after all this time do I see his reflection
And if I surrender, he could play me so easily.
Though this heart break would be different.
Don’t want to lose him but I can’t keep him.
So we find ourselves just clowning.