There are moments in my life that I found myself questioning the conditions of consent. How frustrating it would become to try to explain to others what it meant to say no or not being able to consent, and forced under conditions that compromise the validity in claims of what it meant to want to willfully and willingly engage in experiences in which I was not asking for. This is the frustration. What they use against you in terms of trying to taint your character. That you once consented which is taken as qualifying objections that’s each act following was consensual. At what point where you allowed to leave? I go back to these moments of conditioning in asking myself what choices I had? Under the circumstances and under the terms in which I found myself not living, just surviving. What it meant not to have support. What it meant to have your Mother call you a slut while portraying the perfect “parent” façade and the consequences of the damage and those all the more willing to take advantage you. They cast them aside and estrange them. Too sexual. Too hard to understand. Too control. Just a brat. All while dismissing the abuse. I heard radio hosts telling others “there is no saving them.” The victims that are discarded because they are young girls being subject to forced sex by grooming and normalizing sexual assault. They are often subjected to more abuse because they find themselves without support and resources. Ostracized and isolated. Not just by the abusers, but their family members and all the worse, a picture or video that compromises everything about their own values and integrity and often before the age of consent. The moments you tried to say no and the fear that arises under the circumstances in which leaves us with no option but to compromise our terms and boundaries in order to place submissive and complacent roles in order to appease the comforts of our abusers rather than addressing serious issues that arise in matters of the ability to give consent and what it meant for mental health and stability, and when those boundaries have been crossed and violated, how to leave with dignity and respect deserved rather than what can be used against us. But also understanding that in order to understand the conditioning in which we are groomed by, men who pay the bills or playing dominating roles, we had to understand the beginning of man and the history in cultivating different opinions and entitlements picking through various times in human history calling women property and acceptance in conditioning abuse. Normalizing rape and violence towards women. This is recognized by the statistics of rape and the number of murders for covering up those acts. While not all rapes lead to murders there are uncalculated numbers of emotional rape which isn’t taken seriously. Here we also must understand the development of certain technologies and social studies that had to take place for us, as a human species to understand what it was. What the dynamics are in power plays. The ability to leave. The conditions in which effects the ability to consent or act willing, not under duress or false pretenses. Why emotional rape is a real thing in which has been ignored for centuries. Doctors and counselors of man’s tributes claiming rape and domestic violence symptoms as classifications of “psychosis” and “hysteria” and what that placated into our society. Ironically according to Merriam Webster, Hysteria is a noun defined as “behavior exhibiting overwhelming or unmanageable fear or emotional excess” which is seemingly rightful so to conclude from abusive behaviors such as gaslighting or rape.
I think the bigger disturbance is the lack of understanding in the victims unfolding of sexual assault and abuse which is often dismissed due to a lack of conviction. However, if a victim starts to experience symptoms of PTSD in the forms of audio hallucinations and flashbacks who is to credit her for anything other than crazy. It is literally a bases for abusers to obtain a “get out of jail free card.” Not only can they discard their victims accounts but they can turn everyone against her in calling her a “slut” and saying she asked for it. Worse, a video or picture that slightly depicts the false representations of the events of the rape subject her to further victimization, not just by family members but those that abuse her and the courts. How can you get justice? They deny what sexual stimulation is. Why victims are often confused. They dismiss her accounts of saying no. Why no means no. They force a sexual reaction and now gain reason to claim she asked for it. Convenient for those forcing or inducing a sexual reaction when in a role of domination and all the more reason to further victimize them. It is a sickness of our mankind.